What to do if your child is a cyberbully: 10 Tips for Parents

April 8, 2013

Sarah Eaton's education blogIn earlier posts in this series I talked about what behaviors and personality traits are associated with cyberbullying. So, let’s say you have figured out that your child is harassing or bullying others on line. What can you do?

Here are 10 tips for parents to help you deal with your child or teen.

  1. Address the problem directly. Cyberbullying is not an issue that will go away if you ignore it. You must talk with your child directly. Insist that your child engage with you in a dialogue about his or her behavior.
  2. Explain that the behavior will not be tolerated. Hold the child accountable for his or her actions.
  3. Explain that cyberbullying can be tracked and recorded and reported to school authorities or law enforcement.
  4. Make it clear that safety trumps privacy. A child who has behaved inappropriately in an online environment, loses their privacy privileges.
  5. Discuss the ways that your child can repair the damage he or she has caused. This may include a face-to-face apology or other ways of demonstrating responsibility for his or her actions.
  6. Monitor his or her Internet activities and computer use. The child who cyberbullies is likely to want to be alone in order to engage in inappropriate online activities. Make it clear that parents, grandparents and other caregivers have the right to monitor online activities.
  7. Take electronic devices out of the child’s room. Allow computer use only in common areas of the house such as the kitchen table and ensure the screen is visible to everyone in the room. For example, don’t allow a child to sit on the couch with a laptop so only he or she can see the screen.
  8. Have children and teens surrender mobile devices to parents after a certain time at night. Parents return the mobile devices in the morning. There is no need for children to be using technology unsupervised late at night. If he or she uses their phone as an alarm clock, buy an old-fashioned alarm clock that sits on the night stand. Don’t accept excuses that allow kids to have phones or other mobile devices in their room at night.
  9. Parents must have passwords to all computers and mobile devices. Parents, not children, should have “administrator rights” to all computers.
  10. Seek counseling or mental health care for children who persist with their bullying behavior. Talking to the child’s teacher or school principal can be helpful, too.

As long as cyberbullying remains a secret activity, it is likely to continue. Bring the behaviour out into the open and address it. If necessary, inform grandparents, babysitters and others involved in the child’s life. Ensure that others are involved in helping your child behave appropriately in the online environment.

Remember, it is not uncommon for cyberbullies to suffer from depression or other forms of mental or emotional distress. Cyberbullying may be one sign of a much deeper mental illness that requires treatment and ongoing attention.

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This is the fourth post in my series on child and youth cyberbullying. Check out these related posts:

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References

American Humane Association. (n.d.). Cyber Bullying Prevention and Intervention.   Retrieved November 19, 2012, from http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/fact-sheets/cyber-bullying-prevention-and-intervention.html

Hinduja, S., & Patchin, J. W. (n.d.). Cyberbulling: Indentification, prevention and response. Retrieved from http://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdf

PureSight Online Child Saftey (Author). (n.d.). What should I do if my child is a cyberbully?   Retrieved November 19, 2012, from http://www.puresight.com/Cyberbullying/what-should-i-do-if-my-child-is-a-cyber-bully.html

StopBullying.gov. (n.d.). Warning signs.   Retrieved 2012, 2012, from http://www.stopbullying.gov/at-risk/warning-signs/index.html#bullying

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If you enjoyed this post, please “like” it or leave a comment. Thanks!

Share or Tweet this: What to do if your child is a cyberbully: 10 Tips for Parents http://wp.me/pNAh3-1AW

Update – January 2018 – This blog has had over 1.8 million views thanks to readers like you. If you enjoyed this post, please “like” it or share it on social media. Thanks!

Sarah Elaine Eaton is a faculty member in the Werklund School of Education, University of Calgary, Canada.

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5 Signs your child is a cyberbully

April 1, 2013

Sarah Eaton's education blogParents, educators and even children are aware that bullying is moving out of the playground and into virtual spaces. According to the American Humane Association, 15% to 20% of children bully others online.

In a previous post I talked about signs to help you figure out if your child is being cyberbullied. But what if your child is the cyberbully?

Here are 5 key indicators that your child is harassing others online:
  1. Is secretive about online activities. The cyberbully does not want to be discovered by parents, grandparents, teachers or others who may hold them accountable.
  2. Quickly switches computer screens or closes the screen when you enter the room or walk by. This is a tactic often used by people who do not want others to discover what they have been doing online. Watch for indicators that your child works to quickly minimize an online browser, close a web page or change screens within a second or two of you approaching the computer they are using. This is a sign that your child does not want you to know what they have been doing online.
  3. Uses the computer or mobile devices late at night or when he or she is unsupervised. Inappropriate online behavior is more likely to occur when the bully feels that no one is watching or supervising their actions. They feel less accountable for their online activity when left alone to misbehave.
  4. Gets extremely upset if computer privileges are revoked. While almost any child in today’s world may get upset if their technology privileges are taken away, the cyberbully may become particularly sulky, defensive or angry. The virtual space is where they feel all-powerful and free of consequences, so when that privilege is revoked, they may feel completely disempowered or oppressed.
  5. Uses multiple online accounts or accounts with a fake name. The cyberbully is likely to take the time to create multiple online accounts using public e-mail systems such as Hotmail, Google or Yahoo, since they feel these are less easily traceable. The cyberbully will often lack the courage to represent themselves online in an authentic and transparent manner.

Cyberbullies often feel like victims themselves. In my next post I’ll talk about characteristics of cyberbullies and how harassing others online may be just one sign of deeper mental or emotional illness.

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Related post: How to tell if your child is being cyber-bullied http://wp.me/pNAh3-1w4

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References

Amercian Humane Association. (n.d.). Cyber Bullying Prevention and Intervention.   Retrieved November 19, 2012, from http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/fact-sheets/cyber-bullying-prevention-and-intervention.html

Hinduja, S., & Patchin, J. W. (n.d.). Cyberbulling: Indentification, prevention and response. Retrieved from http://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdf

PureSight Online Child Saftey (Author). (n.d.). What should I do if my child is a cyberbully?   Retrieved November 19, 2012, from http://www.puresight.com/Cyberbullying/what-should-i-do-if-my-child-is-a-cyber-bully.html

StopBullying.gov. (n.d.). Warning signs.   Retrieved 2012, 2012, from http://www.stopbullying.gov/at-risk/warning-signs/index.html#bullying

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If you enjoyed this post, please “like” it or leave a comment. Thanks!

Share or Tweet this: 5 Signs your child is a cyberbully http://wp.me/pNAh3-1AM

Update – January 2018 – This blog has had over 1.8 million views thanks to readers like you. If you enjoyed this post, please “like” it or share it on social media. Thanks!

Sarah Elaine Eaton is a faculty member in the Werklund School of Education, University of Calgary, Canada.


Social Media in a Family Literacy Program (Slides)

September 25, 2012

I noticed the other day that I never posted the slides from this presentation that I did last year at the annual conference of the Centre for Family Literacy, so I am posting them now. (Better late than never!)

Social media in a family literacy program from Sarah Eaton
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Update – January 2018 – This blog has had over 1.8 million views thanks to readers like you. If you enjoyed this post, please “like” it or share it on social media. Thanks!

Sarah Elaine Eaton is a faculty member in the Werklund School of Education, University of Calgary, Canada.


Sample “Family Internet Policy” to keep you and your kids safe

August 27, 2012

Sarah Eaton - blog - group of childrenWith a new school year just around the corner, are you worried about your kids’ Internet use? The Calgary Police Service offers this free sample “Internet Security Policy” for everyone in the family.

You click, download it, and talk about it with your family. Everyone agrees to the policy and signs it. Then you post a copy of the policy on all the computers in the house.

Printing the policy out on removable labels is another option.

Start the school year off right, by having a conversation with your kids about what you expect from when they are using the Internet. Help your children become great digital citizens.

According the Calgary Board of Education, parents can do a lot to help their children learn “surf smarts”. Here’s a handy resource on what you can do to teach your kids about Internet safety.

Remember that this policy isn’t just for kids; it’s for the whole family. Parents need to lead by example when it comes to using the Internet responsibly.

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Share or Tweet this post:  Sample of a “Family Internet Policy” to keep you and your kids safe http://wp.me/pNAh3-1u4

Update – January 2018 – This blog has had over 1.8 million views thanks to readers like you. If you enjoyed this post, please “like” it or share it on social media. Thanks!

Sarah Elaine Eaton is a faculty member in the Werklund School of Education, University of Calgary, Canada.


Social Media Challenges in the Workplace – CIRA panel discussion

November 24, 2011
CIRA Dinner Calgary

(Left to Right) John Moreau, Tom Hesse, Sarah Eaton and Andy Robertson debating social media challenges in the workplace

Tonight I took place on a panel discussion in Calgary on the issue of social media challenges in Calgary. The dinner event was hosted by the Southern Alberta chapter of the Canadian Industrial Relations Association (CIRA), and organized by Dr. Kelly Williams-Whitt, who is a professor of Labour Relations at the University of Lethbridge (Calgary Campus) and serves in a leadership role with CIRA.

My fellow panelists were:

  • Andy Robertson, Partner, Macleod Dixon LLP
  • Tom Hesse, United Food and Commercial Workers Canada (UFCW) 401
  • John Moreau, Arbitrator

Dr. Whitt presented us with three Canadian labour cases including:

  1. A female employed in the health care sector who posted photos of patients without their permission on her blog, discussing their conditions and making disparaging remarks about her fellow employees, her workplace and her bosses. (She was later dismissed from her job.)
  2. A male employee with documented mental health issues who blogged about his Neo-Nazi beliefs, his hatred of certain racial groups, the desecration of animal remains that he took part in, the anti-depressants he was on and other assorted topics. He mentioned the name of his employer in his blog. (He was suspended from work and then reinstated.)
  3. A male employee who circulated pornography to his co-workers and was later found to have over 3000 pornographic images and some porn videos in his work e-mail account. (He was suspended from work and then reinstated).

Each panelist gave commentary on the cases, based on their respective experience. My point of view was mainly “pro” social media. My main arguments were:

  • Most companies do not train their employees adequately on how to use social media effectively and responsibly.
  • Organizations need to make their expectations about online behaviour very clear to employees.
  • Everyone who engages in social media leaves a “digital footprint”. Employees and employers need to be aware of what this is and what it can mean over the long term.
  • Digital citizenship is in an important skills to learn in the 21st century.
  • Online reputation management is becoming more important for both employees and employers.

Here’s a clip of my commentary:

It was a lively and invigorating discussion that touched on topics such as personal freedoms, organizational control, common sense and personal responsibility. My fellow panelists were articulate, well-informed and thoughtful in their responses. Being neither a lawyer, nor a union voice, I was honoured to take part in the discussion.

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Update – January 2018 – This blog has had over 1.8 million views thanks to readers like you. If you enjoyed this post, please “like” it or share it on social media. Thanks!

Sarah Elaine Eaton is a faculty member in the Werklund School of Education, University of Calgary, Canada.


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